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The Day The End Never Came

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Chris Tarantino28.Dec.2012
Day Zero Temple
Photo by Robin Russell
 

So the predicted epic fail of the world turned out to be an epic fail of it’s own. Unless, that is, by “end of the world,” the Mayans were referring to the collective destruction of human souls who spent the whole damned day (or week) looking at a persistent stream of Facebook doom postings. But that doesn’t mean the purported end of the world wasn’t a great reason for a proper fiesta.

Crosstown Rebels took to the streets of Maya to ring in the beginning of the end/end of the beginning with Day Zero, a 24-hour cosmic rager coinciding with the ancient prophecy, and we were on the scene to capture some of the insanity. If Y2K had this kind of lineup, it may have been a lot more fun and dancing, and a lot less canned goods and bunkers. Unless the Mayan math was off, I don’t really see any sequel to this one, so enjoy these shots from a one-of-a-kind event, and be sure to check our musical highlights of the fest here.

ETHOS
Photo by Chris Tarantino

 

If you don’t respect the flora and the fauna elsewhere, it’s just a major party foul. But Mayan flora is a different breed and will rearrange your pH until you’re exploding from every orifice up and everyday feels like the end of the world. And do not mess with the Palapas –  tiny Chupacabra-like animals I’ve been told – who are so allergic to the smell of nicotine, they’ll literally take a bite out of your dumper if you light up around them. According to the final tallies on my punchcard, I hugged the most people and therefore won a handy Crosstown Rebels tote bag filled with 12-inches, stickers, and Palapa-bite antidote (which I later sold to a chain smoker for 40,000 pesos and, of course, a hug.)

 


Photo by Rolando Alvarez

 

Here, two Mayans demonstrate how to use an early version of Serato Scratch Live; or as it was referred to back then, Xylophonic Abacus Live. They didn’t use Traktor (or tractors) as it wasn’t invented yet. Duh.

 

CENOTE 3
Photo by Chris Tarantino

 

When I first arrived in Mexico, I was taken to a beautiful “cenote” or sinkhole by some locals to swim and frolic about. I assumed it was a special, one-of-a-kind, super tight spot. But after seeing about 14 on the way home, I realized that basically all of Mexico was built on a cenote (seriously guys??). The Day Zero sinkhole was a bit toxic looking, which earned it the nickname around the grounds as ‘The Not-So-Tight Cenote.”

 

Jamie Jones
Photo by Rolando Alvarez

 

You know how you know that Jamie Jones is a great DJ? Because even he knows that if he glances away from the record and down at his shirt, that he’ll be whisked away to the sixth Mayan life cycle, hundreds of years in the future and we would all be robbed of one of the best sets of the festival.

 

Maya day zero headdress
Photo by Rolando Alvarez

 

Sympathy for The Dinosaur?? This girl and her totally enormous extinct headdress probably made for a candy-colored good time when TEED looked out to the crowd during his set. Don’t worry, girl. Your nails look fine.

 

PRESS TENT
Photo by Chris Tarantino

 

I always try and tell people who can’t get backstage “You have no idea what it’s like back there!!” before I tell them “I just can’t help you out though.” But it usually looks more like this, with the first few dummies who drank the Kool-Aid at Jonestown face-down in the dirt.

 


Photo by Britt Von Decker

 

Art Department and their manager – or so I was told by Harvey Birdman down in front. Mitch (second from the right)  is hiding his face because of his day job in HR at Banco Azteca.

 

STYLEMAN
Photo by Rolando Alvarez

 

You know, some people just don’t put much effort into their look. If you’re gonna come to out the last party on Earth, at least get into the spirit with something fun instead of rolling out in clothes from work. Millions of years in the future, when they dig homeboy up in this outfit, they will know that he was our true leader and that we were more advanced than they ever thought possible.

 

MASSAGE
Photo by Rolando Alvarez

 

Mayan Massage Man: “Just relax. Let go. Forget your worries. No seriously, forget them. We’ll all be dead in a  matter of hours, and your cell phone bill will no longer concern you, homie.”

 

LAZPOD
Photo by Rolando Alvarez

 

Festival organizer Damian Lazarus showing you what direction his new life cycle is headed. (Damain is wearing local, artisinal jewelry forged from tools of ancient Maya, a headwrap by Michael Kors, and a top from Forever 21.)

 

LAST SUNUP
Photo by Chris Tarantino

 

Welcome to Day One and enjoy your “Higher States of Consciousness,” everyone!

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